Drunk Werewolves
by slayer of destiny
Summary: When the werewolves come back from a run appearing drunk and Stiles is the only one there he calls a pack emergency, How to deal with five drunk werewolves? What caused the reaction? Drunk Derek, Scott, Jackson, Issac and Peter.


Stiles stared incredulously at the group in front of him before he grasped for his mobile. This required help. And what did it say about his life when he had speed dial just thus type of emergency?!

* * *

"Hello?" Allison answered her phone absently, shoving it underneath her ear as she moved to carry on typing her much delayed English essay.

"Allison! I need you here right now! No Jackson! Get off the roof!" Stiles' frantic voice quickly pulled her away from her essay.

"What's happened?" She asked already moving to try and hunt down her keys.

"I have no idea! They were fine, they went for their run, they came back, I had food and films ready but they all said they were feeling ill and dizzy and tired so they all sat down and then…they're acting super weird Allison! Like a mixture between…Isaac! Stop chewing the banister! No don't look at me like that! Stop whining like that Isaac, you can't chew the…Derek!" Allison yanked the phone away from her ear with a wince when Stiles shrieked their Alpha's name right down her ear.

"Stiles?" She was seriously hoping that Derek hadn't decided to eat Stiles.

"Stop…stop…Derek!"

"Stiles?!" Allsion was seriously worried now, tearing through her room till she made a triumphant noise as she found her keys.

"Derek! Stop scent marking me!" Stiles scolded followed by a seriously depressed whine. "Allison?! I'm calling in the others, just…just get here!" with that Stiles hung up leaving her to race for her car.

* * *

"Hello this is Lydia Martin you had better have a really good reason for interrupting my beauty time or I am going to…"

"Scott! The wall is not a scratching post! Lydia? Lydia? You there?" Stiles' frantic voice had Lydia sitting up quickly, even if the first part did confuse her a little.

"Stiles? What's going on?"

"Code red, code red! I need you here like now! They've all gone like super weird when they went out for their run and I can't keep an eye on all of…for fuck's sake Jackson put the sofa down!" Stiles snapped.

"I'm on my way, what happened?" Lydia grabbed her werewolf emergency handbag and shoes.

"I don't know they came back feeling off and just…Derek!"

"Stiles?" Lydia asked concerned as she sped up running down her stairs.

"No! Bad Alpha! Stop licking me!" Stiles shrieked followed by a muffled thump. "Derek off me! I am not a chew toy! I am not a….that tickles!"

"I AM ON MY WAY!" Lydia managed to yell before the line went dead.

* * *

"Hey St…"

"Derek!"

"No its Danny," Danny frowned at his phone.

"What? No, yeah I know! I need you here right now, emergency there is something really wrong with the…Peter! Get away from Isaac right now before I de-claw and de-fang you with the bacon tongs!" Danny blinked at his phone at the sharp threat before scrambling to get dressed.

"Stiles what's happened?"

"I don't know, they're just like really weird and…Peter I swear if you do not sit down in that seat and stop letching on Isaac I am going to remove your balls with a spoon!" Stiles's threat made Danny wince. "Ah! Derek!"

"Stiles?"

"Urgh Derek you're heavy get off! And…Oh my god oh my god oh my god!"

"Stiles?! Is Derek trying to eat you?!" Danny asked frantically as he started his car and sped off down the road. Frantically wondering when exactly it became a legitimate concern that one of his sort of friends might eat his other friend. And also that Stiles' dad and deputies didn't catch him speeding.

"No, its not him eating me we have to worry about. Just get here!" Stiles yelped before the line went dead.

* * *

"Deaton?! Deaton get your ass over here now!"

"Hello to you too Stiles, what trouble has pack Hale gotten into this tim…"

"Scott! Allison is on her way stop crying! Jackson stop glaring at the sofa and I can see you trying to move it! Isaac do not chew the coffee table! Peter put your pants back on! Derek let me up, right now!" Deaton blinked at the stream that came down the phone.

"I'm on my way,"

"Thank god," Stiles sounded like he was about ready to cry as he hung up.

* * *

They all arrived pretty much at the same time, all of them looking apprehensively at the house as they got out their cars. Meeting each other's eyes they grabbed their various weapons and defensive protection before they scaled the steps to the house and opened the front door. Stepping inside they were met with a barrage of noise, noise they quickly tracked to the living room where they froze. Despite the conversation they had heard down the phone, nothing could have prepared they for this.

Peter was dancing naked in the middle of the room singing – badly – to I'm In The Mood For Dancing. Scott was in a corner sobbing and saying something about Allison not wanting him anymore and not loving him. Jackson was swaying as he had a glaring completion with the sofa, stepping towards it and then whine growling when Stiles shouted a warning to him. Isaac was sitting beside the nest of tables, his mouth opening sneakily and leaning towards them before whining like a smacked puppy when Stiles shouted at him.

As one they all stepped inside and shifted to the right, all of them seeing the sight of Derek and Stiles on the floor no longer blocked by the sofa. Stiles was on his front, his hand mashed into Derek's face who was sitting on his bum and whining low and hurt even as he scrambled for Stiles.

"Jackson!" Stiles snapped before yelping when Derek managed to worm past his defences and yanked up his shirts, determinedly scent marking every inch of skin he could. "Derek! I do not want stubble burn on my back!"

"Allison?!" Scott's voice trembled along with his bottom lip as he spotted her. "I…I… …ght you did…didn't lo…ve me anymore," He sniffed miserable before bursting into tears again.

"Oh thank god!" Stiles gave up trying to fight Derek off him as he dropped down onto his front, the alpha making a happy grumble as he carried on rubbing his face enthusiastically over Stiles' back.

"What…what the hell!?" Lydia gawped around the room at the werewolves as Jackson picked up the sofa and started quickly moving it while glancing worriedly over his shoulder at Stiles and Derek. All of them were pointedly not looking at Peter.

"I don't know!" Stiles whined into the carpet before trying to fight Derek when he started licking him. All of them froze when Derek let out a low growl. An Alpha growl. Before grumbling happily and carried on giving Stiles tongue bath. "Derek!" Stiles yelped when Derek gave a little nip to his shoulder blade.

"Did Derek just laugh?" Danny blinked at the rumbling laugh that came from the Alpha.

"Guys!" Stiles complained.

"What happened exactly Stiles?" Deaton asked.

"I don't know. They went out for their run, I was making food and waiting for them. They came back about forty five minutes earlier than normal, all of them saying they felt off and weak, tired. They went and sat in the living room and Peter joined them. I was making them all something to eat to try and make them feel better and then I heard a smash, I came through and they were like this!" Stiles waved an arm indicating the madness going on. Only to find his arm pinned down with a growl as Derek carried on licking him.

"Its like they're drunk," Allison mumbled as she stroked her hand through Scott's hair as he sniffed into her shoulder.

"Did they say they had found anything different? Anything strange?" Deaton asked peering at Jackson who kept putting the sofa down before grumbling and picking it up again to move.

"Flowers, they said something about going through a field of flowers that smelt weird, like…"

"Salt," Derek muttered against the skin of Stiles' lower back.

"What colour were the flowers Derek?" Stiles urged.

"Purple with green stripes," he said distractedly before he and Stiles started battling to stop him from pulling Stiles' trousers down.

"Oh dear," Deaton rubbed his eyes.

"What oh dear?" Lydia asked concerned as in the back ground Isaac bit clean through the table and shifted to the arm chair.

"It's a flower that grows rarely, once every ten years only in certain places. It's a mythical flower, known and seen only by our community. Thing is it acts like alcohol or drugs for werewolves and a number of other beings. The effects can last up to twelve hours,"

"Someone! Derek! Stop! Derek!" Stiles squeaked as Derek managed to tug Stiles' trousers halfway down his hips.

"Ah, it lowers inhibitions as well," Deaton winced when Peter started singing moondance and dancing a little more vigorously.

"Please," Derek pouted, rubbing his nose against Stiles' cheek and giving another hopeful tug.

"Dude no! You heard Deaton, your drunk and there are people here! And you hate me!" Stiles spluttered.

"I don't hate you!" Derek protested loudly and in a whiney tone as he nuzzled into Stiles' skin.

"Derek! Hands!" Stiles squeaked trying to crawl away from Derek, only for him to follow him.

"AH MY EYES!" Isaac suddenly shrieked covering said eyes as he dramatically looked away from Stiles and Derek. "Its like watching mom and dad!"

"Hey! I had better not be mom in that scenario!" Stiles snapped.

"You're definitely not dad," Derek snickered as he started mouthing up Stiles' neck, licking and nipping.

"Priorities dude!" Danny muttered amused.

"Like how about getting him off of me?!" Stiles glared why trying to stop himself from shuddering as Derek hit a particularly good spot.

"Stiles, I don't think that is happening," Lydia sighed in her 'you are such an idiot, its clearly obvious' tone.

"Everybody's dancing in the moonlight! everybodys feeling warm and bright! its such a fine and natural sight! everybodys dancing in the moonlight!" Peter shimmied across the room singing out of tune.

"And why not?!" Stiles grit out as he tried to fend of Derek's hands, hands he suddenly seemed to have developed twenty of.

"Stiles…" Allison sounded a little exasperated herself making Stiles blink at her questioningly while still trying to fend off Derek's hands. Sighing she motioned to Danny who glared at her but took a few steps forward…quickly resulting in a red eyed, growling alpha hunching over Stiles and dragging him backwards away from Danny.

"Alright, alright I get the point. Big growly alpha, you all cowards," Stiles huffed.

"How do we fix them?" Lydia asked as she watched Jackson standing the sofa on its arm and propping it against the wall before he started sniffing the curtains.

"We…"

"If you say the words we can't do anything I will be forced to hurt you!" Stiles glared, smacking his head off of the floor when Deaton looked sheepishly at him.

"We can…erm…I don't want to lose fingers," Danny winced eyeing Derek who was sniffling at Stiles' neck while glaring at them, warning them to stay away from him and Stiles. Lydia frowned before walking determinedly towards them.

"Derek you need to let Stiles go," she said firmly. Stiles let out a startled yelp when he found himself tugged off the floor and thrown over Derek's shoulder.

"Derek! Derek!" Stiles kicking furiously at Derek was the last thing the others saw as they watched the alpha carrying Stiles up the stairs.

"EW!" Isaac and Scott both chimed in at the same time, Scott practically wrapped around Allison.

"TRAITORS!" Stiles' yell came before the slamming of a door.

* * *

"Urgh," Derek groaned rubbing his eyes as he pushed himself up into a sitting position and blinked blurrily around the room. He blinked once and then twice at the window in his room before looking down to where there was something…someone squirming partially underneath him.

Looking down he stared shocked at a sleeping, mostly naked except for his boxer shorts, Stiles who snuffled a little into the pillow he was lying on and was clearly starting to wake up. He was also lying on his stomach half underneath Derek.

Derek scrunched his eyes as the mother of all headaches rumbled behind his eyes, the likes of which he had never felt before. He felt delicate and wobbly, his mouth felt like it had been stuffed full of cotton wool. He blinked as memories of the night before came back to him, how the others were acting…how he had acted. Sitting on Stiles and scent marking him as _his _so that everyone would know it. He remembered dragging Stiles upstairs.

He blinked harder when he remembered that bit before frowning as he tried to remember what the hell happened next. What the hell had he done? He knew how he felt for Stiles of course he did, even he wasn't that emotionally stunted not to realise. But he knew Stiles couldn't feel that way for him, they had barely seen eye to eye for the first couple of years, this year Stiles tolerated him. But Stiles wouldn't have been able to say no if the Alpha werewolf had decided he wanted him.

"You'll give yourself frown lines if you scowl any harder than you already do, and I talking like major frown lines by the time you're thirty," Stiles mumbled into his pillow. Derek looked down quickly, worried about what was going to happen now. Would Stiles freak out and run away? Would he never want to see him again? The part of his mind that was left over from Kate whispered that there was a very good chance Stiles was going to laugh at him and tell him exactly how little chance he had with him. "Stop thinking whatever it is you are brooding over and go back to sleep, its too damn early and some of us spent nearly three hours trying to find this comfy position while three hundred pounds of alpha snuggle bunny latched onto me. I'm comfy and warm, I'm going back to sleep,"

"I do not weigh 300 pounds!" Derek protested. "The others…" He tried to stand up, to get away, but Stiles appeared to be lying on his arm, and unwilling to move his entire body weight off of it.

"Are fine. They shouted through that they had gotten them all under control and safely stored away. They're probably feeling as rough as you right now," Stiles muttered not opening his eyes again.

"I should…"

"Derek, I'm trying to get you to lie with me and cuddle when you are not magic flower drunk," Stiles sighed sitting up slightly and glaring at Derek with a sleepy pout on his face, his newly longer hair which Derek had hated because all he wanted to do was run his fingers through it – was bed mussed and sticking out at all angles.

"Oh…" Derek blinked at Stiles for a few moments before it sunk in exactly what the human meant. "Oh!"

"Yeah oh!" Stiles rolled his eyes before laughing as a huff of air was forced out his body when Derek flopped on top of him again, partly burying him beneath his body. Derek couldn't stop himself from burying his nose into Stiles' shoulder and breathing deeply, inhaling the scent of himself on Stiles, of the scent of them mixed together.

"This ok?" He couldn't help but ask concerned as Stiles wriggled a little and then stopped as he seemed to get comfy again.

"This is perfect. How's your first hangover?" Stiles grinned.

"I don't think I have really missed out on much. The drinking experience or the hangover part…I could have gone my entire life without knowing what sort of drunk Peter and Scott are as well," Derek grunted as he cautiously wound his arm around Stiles' waist and hugged him closer.

"Wouldn't have had you pegged for a soppy, huggy drunk to be fair," Stiles laughed.

"I'm not," Derek snapped. Stiles tensed a little underneath him, so with a sigh he admitted. "Just with you,"

"….Oh!" Stiles hid his big grin in his pillow as he snuggled further into Derek's body and nodded back off for a couple more hours. They would have to do some clean up tomorrow, he doubted any of them would recover from the mental scars Peter had inflicted. All the living room furniture would have to be removed from the roof of the house from where Jackson had for some reason decided it belonged. But here, in this bed, right now. Stiles couldn't care about anything but the very warm, sexy, scowly alpha pressing against him in a bed that smelt of Derek, being allowed close to him like this. He had wanted this for so long that he wasn't about to let Derek run now that he finally had him.


End file.
